Oct 23 min read

To Those I Helped Along The Way

To those I helped along the way,

For years, I’ve thought only about the bad times—the dark events I was a part of, the terrible sights, sounds, and smells, and the chaos.

This letter is to you, the ones I was able to help in positive ways.

During my time in Fire and EMS, I’ve had a hard time remembering a lot of the good. I know there was a lot. From driving and walking in parades, to waving while coming back from calls. There are countless lift assists, smoke detector battery changes, and yes, even a response to assist a cat out of a tree. Hundreds of medical calls, all unique in their own ways. Identifying signs of stroke and making rapid decisions, knowing my training and decisions saved your life. Diabetic emergencies, always being proud that I had the simple tools, ability, and resources to “wake you back up.” Countless calls for those choking on food at our nearby restaurants. Doing the best damn CPR, no matter the outcome, knowing it was what I could do to help you. Holding hands as some slipped away, comforting families in one of their worst times. Always treating people like they were my family members and doing every single thing I could to help. I wasn’t able to save or fix every one or everything on every call. But I know I helped more of you than the dark days try to cover up.

Dispatching was a whole different ball game. Doing everything in my power to get help to those in need, most having the worst days of their lives. Multi-tasking and always doing my best work, even when short-staffed and in the middle of the night. I never got to meet most of you. Most had no idea what my job actually was, but I gave you all the best of me to get you the exact help you needed—problem-solving before help arrived. To the officers, firefighters, and EMS I felt as family, most of the time never meeting in person. Know that my goal every shift was to ensure you went home to your family after each call or shift. The mental health calls, even the one wanting me to dispatch the ambulance to transport her to the crematorium. The man convinced he saw an alligator on the side of the interstate. The countless people I stayed on the phone with until help arrived. The gas station clerk, I helped ensure you got help, felt safe and helped the officers find your offender in under an hour. I gave you my best—every single shift.

To those I helped as a police officer. [Name Redacted] I’ve seen you in some bad situations but knowing I always tried to make decisions that would help you in your future and to keep you alive. I saw your potential. To the victims of domestic violence and assaults, always doing my job to the best of my ability. To the families affected by drugs and alcohol, especially drugs, I specifically did extra to get as many guns, drugs, and drunks off the streets as possible. To those I bought meals for, treated with respect, and even those I had “come to Jesus moments” with in my cruiser. To those who I gave a simple cigarette to before taking you into jail, sometimes that’s all I could do to help that day.

To the citizens overall, I was proud to serve the community in the ways I could, training over and over to be the best I could in all situations.

This letter is for you.

I helped way more than the dark days try to cover up. But I’m learning that I helped more than I hurt.

Note: This letter was created as part of my healing and recovery journey.